Holiday Havoc
by Avalon Estel
Summary: It's the holiday season, and everyone's happy about it but Erestor. Mostly written to vent my annoyance with the over-use of the words "holiday season", Glorfy attempts (in vain) to engage him in festivities. [Three-shot:COMPLETE]
1. The First Incident

Holiday Havoc

A/N: Before you read anything, I have to tell you that I'm Muslim, meaning I pratice the religion of Islam, meaning _I don't celebrate Christmas. _So you may wonder why the heck I'm writing a Christmas story. See, where I live, Christmas is overcommercialized and everywhere. And I tend to get a little tired of it. This was written on account of that frustration. But you will find it funny. Dedicated to friends and fellow writers Erestor and Ithiliel Silverquill for being so wonderfully supportive during my time of…story deletions, and Malara and Rhys for being such great reviewers. Thanks, guys! BTW, this is a modernized Imladris. Just so no one gets confused.

P.S. – I agree with your mother about the guy who sang "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas", Erestor!

* * *

Erestor walked to his office, stacks of papers and files held snugly against his chest. He was in a good mood. He hadn't run into Glorfindel yet. And that was a great thing. He reached out to open the door of his office and stopped as he realized that yet again, Elrond had managed to hang one of those blasted wreaths on his door. They always dropped twigs and leaves on his doormat as they started to dry out. However, it was useless to remove it, as Elrond would just hang up another one.

Sighing, he opened the door and headed inside, slamming it firmly shut with his foot.

"No interruptions today!" he sang out, plopping down into his chair and placing his paperwork in front of him. He pulled open his desk drawer and took out his glasses and Walkman. He slid the glasses onto his nose, snapped the headphones over his ears, and pressed the _power_ button.

Loud, pounding rap blared out of the speakers and into his ears, like fists thumping against his eardrums. He quickly turned down the volume and switched the channel. Celebrian must have gotten hold of it again. She was always listening to rap and hip-hop. Now, heavy metal blasted through the headphones. He quickly changed it. He'd only learned to recognize heavy metal as music after Elladan and Elrohir had reached their "annoying teenager" stage, and constantly listened to it. Before that, he'd always wondered why in Arda they bothered to have a station that only played sound clips of people screaming and smashing trashcan lids together. People could be so strange.

_Beep, beep, beep_. Each time he changed the station, the Walkman would beep. There it was. Soft rock, all day. But it wasn't meant to be.

He hadn't realized it.

It was back!

It was time!

His favorite music station was being invaded by – GASP! Christmas carols!

"No," he breathed, hoping with every fabric of his being that he was wrong.

And then…

"Welcome to WRIV, Rivendell Soft Rock, all day. We've now become Holiday Rivendell, until the holiday season's finished. All Christmas music, all day."

Erestor slumped over. A whole month of nothing but Christmas music. "Why?" he asked the air. "Why do they do this?"

"Why do they do what?" asked a jolly voice. Glorfindel poked his head in through the door.

Erestor groaned and covered his face with his hands. Now, not only did he have to deal with holiday music, but Glorfindel, as well!

The other advisor pranced into the room happily, practically skipping, a bright red Santa cap on his head. "Have a holly, jolly Christmas!" he sang, dancing around Erestor's desk. "And in case you didn't hear, oh, by golly, have a holly, jolly Christmas this year!" He sang this over and over, as it was, for the most part, the only verse he knew of the song. He grabbed the carefully-sorted papers and threw them in the air. Then, he took off his hat and dropped it sideways on Erestor's head. "Ho, ho, the mistletoe, hung where you can't see, somebody waits for you – "

"Please, stop!" Erestor cried. Glorfindel halted in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" the golden-haired Elf asked.

"Glor, I'm trying to work. If you would kindly leave – "

"But I can't leave! I must get you into the holiday spirit! Jingle bells, Galadriel smells, Elrond laid an egg…"

Erestor, annoyed, blew a strand of dark hair from his face and adjusted his skewed spectacles. "Glorfindel, this is most definitely _not_ going to get me into the holiday spirit. Now, I demand that you remove this ridiculous hat from my head, pick up my papers, and _leave_!"

Glorfindel looked at him as one pitying a dying man. "You, my dear Erestor, just don't know fun when you see it!"

"I know fun," Erestor protested. "To me, this just isn't fun."

"But Christmas is _always_ fun!" Glorfindel said.

"Not to me!"

"How is that possible?" Glorfindel asked in horror.

Then, the door creaked open again. Elrond stepped into the room, holding a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. "What's going on in here?" the Elven Lord asked, looking fierce.

Glorfindel pointed accusingly at Erestor. "He doesn't like Christmas!"

Elrond shrugged. "He's always been like that."

"But that's preposterous!" Glorfindel protested, snatching the Santa hat from Erestor's head and jamming it on his own, his hands clamped about the white cotton trim protectively.

"No, I just don't like it," Erestor said, slightly defensive. "Now, I'd highly appreciate it if you'd all leave!"

"Fine," Elrond said, shrugging again. He slipped out the door. Glorfindel slunk out behind him, his eyes narrowed maliciously at Erestor.

When he was sure they were gone, Erestor put on his headphones again and switched the Walkman to the classical music station.

* * *

A/N: This will only be a two or three chapter fic, since I'm kinda busy recently. However, I will keep up with it, as I did with "Caffeine". Namarie! 


	2. More Interruptions

Holiday Havoc

A/N: Thanks everyone! I'm glad you all like it! First, to Hildegard the Short (I agree that if they want to commercialize, at least wait till it's closer to the holiday), matrixelf (Glad you like it!), Hanna M (I never knew someone of your religion, either!), Aranel3 (Agreed!), swee-haret179 (as usual, glad to have you!), LilStripedTomato (My goodness! A Santa double?! GLORFY?! Maybe _you_ need to lay off the decaf! J/k!), Ithiliel Silverquill (Well, mostly it's 'cause soft rock's my favorite kind of music next to eighties which they also invaded!. And Tchaikovsky's good for you! It's been proven! Well, maybe not…But Tchaikovsky and Beethoven, and Yanni, and all those other composers ROCK!), Miss Piratess (Oh dear's right!), Erestor (If they play Delilah on the weeknights, then we most likely do.), Kalayna (Yes, it is!), and Malara (You're welcome! You deserve it!)! I really appreciate everyone's enthusiasm and unbiased comments. I was afraid some jerk would say something rude…But thankfully, no one did, so I'm happy. Please, if anyone reviews, don't curse.

Chapter Two: More Interruptions

"Finished!" Erestor proclaimed, slamming shut his file drawer. He sighed, pulled off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. "What a day…" Glorfindel hadn't bothered him yet that day, two weeks after the first incident, but then the last time he'd thought he was safe from Glorfindel, the stupid Elf had stormed his office and dropped Santa hats on him. Erestor sighed and leaned his head back.

Just then, something very solid and very wet shattered across the back of his head. He quickly reached back and grabbed a handful of snow. A childish giggling drifted in through his open window. "Glorfindel," the advisor muttered, suddenly enraged. The idiot Elf wasn't going to get away with _this_! He turned and flew to the window behind him. The winter gales caught up his hair and blew it around, making him look like one angry Elf, indeed. "Glorfindel!" he roared.

Glorfindel looked at him in shock, stiffening and dropping the snowball he had been rolling. "Uh…hey, Stor!" he called, and waved at the infuriated advisor.

Suddenly, Elrond's twin sons Elladan and Elrohir ran across the snow-covered ground. They were carrying a large evergreen tree on their shoulders. At first, Erestor didn't see them, but then they got closer…much closer…too close –

WHAM!

One minute, Glorfindel had been standing and staring at Erestor in horror, and the next, he was lying on the snow, dazed, with the twins calling, "Sorry, Glor!" as they ran back into the Last Homely House.

Erestor shook his head in disgust and went back into his office. Exhausted, he decided to take a long nap, so he headed to his room.

* * *

"Erestor?" 

Erestor grunted and turned over, pulling the quilt over his face.

"Hey, Erestor!"

The advisor wasn't ready to wake up. "Go away, whoever you are," he muttered. "Leave me alone."

"But, Stor, you've been asleep for three hours!"

Erestor threw the blanket off his face. There was only _one_ person who called him "Stor". "Glorfindel, get away from me."

"Lindir's performing later," Glorfindel said, prodding his chest. The golden-haired Elf still wore his mittens and fur-trimmed cloak, and a bright green scarf had been wrapped around his neck. He was bending over Erestor with a blinding smile on his face.

"I don't care if Lindir's jumping off a waterfall!" Erestor shouted. "Go away!" He then pulled the blanket back over his head and rolled over.

"Stor, that's pretty cruel."

Erestor shot up. "Get out of my room, Glorfindel!" he cried.

Glorfindel smiled and shrugged, then headed out the door. He stopped abruptly and looked back at Erestor. "I had brought you something," he said off-handedly.

"And what would that be?" Erestor asked, narrowing his eyes in fury at the Elf.

"This!" Glorfindel yelled, and before Erestor could react, he pulled a snowball out of the pocket of his cloak and threw it squarely at Erestor's face. He ran off like a lunatic, laughing all the way.

That was the last straw for Erestor.

"I'm going to kill you, Glorfindel!" he cried, running out of his room, his hair undone and robes flying. Glorfindel was far ahead of him. The Balrog-slayer may have been an idiot, but he could run.

"Excuse me!" Glorfindel called, ducking around a group of Elves who were busily singing Christmas carols.

"Oh, Valar!" Erestor said in exasperation. He tried to push his way through the singing Elves, but it was to no avail. They wouldn't budge.

"…We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year!" they sang, completely ignoring the poor Elf's attempts to break through them. They were more resolute to keep him from getting through than the soldiers in the Last Alliance. Glorfindel had paid them to hold him up, and they were intent on keeping their end of the bargain. They burst into a strong rendition of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer".

Erestor yanked a songbook out of one of the choir-Elves' hands. "Do you nutcases even know what a reindeer is?" he demanded.

"Give me that!" the Elf cried, snatching back her songbook. She stuck her nose up in the air and tramped off, leaving the Elven choir behind. Her leaving made a breach in the wall, and Erestor quickly took advantage of the situation, forcing himself through the ranks. "Ha ha!" he threw back triumphantly as he followed Glorfindel's trail of melted snow.

He finally caught up with the Elf-lord, who was hurriedly building a snow fort. He hadn't noticed Erestor, so the advisor began to make a small pile of snowballs. He tiptoed up to where Glorfindel sat, smoothing the top of his wall, and began to shower the Vanya with icy missiles. Glorfindel screamed and abandoned his post, running to avoid being hitby the snowballs.

Erestor chased him right through the doors of Imladris, throwing his last three snowballs at Glorfindel. He didn't see the box of decorations until it was too late, and by then he was lying on the ground, covered in wreaths, plastic candy canes, colorful sashes, and tinsel.

"Oops, sorry, Erestor," Elladan said from above him.

"Yeah," Elrohir agreed, nodding. "Maybe we shouldn't have put the box _right_ in front of the door."

"No, you think?" Erestor asked sarcastically, getting to his feet and brushing stray tinsel from his dark robes. "Christmas is evil," he murmured. "And Glorfindel will pay!"

* * *

A/N: Poor Erestor! What have I done to you?? Oh, well. It's funny, anyway. Please review! 


	3. Revenge

Chapter Three: Revenge

A/N: As usual, when the ending of a story approaches, so does the lengthy reviewer responses. But you all deserve it! (hugs the reviewers)

Ithiliel Silverquill – Bad girl! You should have been studying! Oh, well. My story's better than studying! HA! No, I've never heard of David Sanz, but I really like "Christmas in Sarajevo" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Your poor Sirius. And Delilah ROCKS!!

matrixelf – Are you suggesting…a sequel?!?! Perhaps… Oh, dear, now you've given me bad ideas.

Kalayna – Glorfy DOES deserve it!

LilStripedTomato – Don't really like hair metal. I'm more into Journey, the Police, Brian Adams, U2, Survivor, etc. And I pity the poor man who was dressed up like Santa.

Miss Piratess – Not the Grinch. He's just irritated. I mean, how would _you_ feel if this happened to you every year?

Erestor – Exactly the moral. And also: Don't get Erestor vengeful. I'm not evil! I would _never_ cripple him! I love him too much! And well, Glorfy's just like that. Thank you for reviewing ANFoT! Glad you're better.

Arwen – I am nuts. Thought you knew that, hun. (Looks at all the freaked-out reviewers) She's my sister!

Fat Hippo05 – Interesting name. Thanks!

Malara – Don't die! Glorfy will pay, you can be sure. ANFoT was taken off because they said it had "chat-speak". It did not! I'd know, I wrote it! And I'm sorry, but no pageant. Perhaps next year. Thank you for going all the way to CoE to review ANFoT for me!

And now, the chapter!!! Please note – All eggnog consumed in this story is NON-alcoholic. I only drink (due to my religion) NON-alcoholic eggnog; therefore my Elves – although they're Elves – only drink NON-alcoholic eggnog. You may continue now.

* * *

Erestor woke early Christmas day. He sighed and pulled himself out of bed. More madness than ever from Glorfindel. He could just imagine him running around in circles with whatever gifts he received, his cloak flowing out behind him like a menacing black banner. Menacing, all right. Glorfindel the Menace. Erestor grinned. That was a good nickname. 

He strode to the Hall of Fire, where the twins had rigged up a ten-foot tree. The fire was lit, though it was broad daylight. He had bought his gifts at the last moment the night before, almost being crushed by the usual rush of holiday shoppers. He was happy to see the twins sitting in a pile of wrapping paper, Elladan already typing away at the laptop Erestor had given him and Elrohir reading the back of the DVD he'd received from Elrond. Arwen snapped away like mad at everything that moved with her new camera phone, and Celebrian was bobbing her head in time to a rap song playing on her Walkman. Erestor had bought her the Walkman. He'd gotten tired of her taking his all the time.

"Hey, Uncle 'Stor!" Elladan called, noticing him in the hallway. He ran up and hugged the advisor. "Thanks for the comp!"

Erestor decided to take that as meaning "computer". "You're welcome," he replied, hugging him back.

"Look at what I got you!" Elladan called, running to the tree and picking up a present wrapped in silver paper. He held it out to Erestor as he walked up to him. Erestor smiled and sat down by the fire and began to remove the paper.

Then that voice, the voice of the ultimate terror, drifted into the room.

_Elrond got run over by a reindeer,  
__Walking to Imladris Christmas Eve,  
__You may say there's no such thing as Santa,  
__But all of Rivendell, they believe!_

The voice was embodied as Glorfindel bounced into the room and snatched up his many presents from under the tree. Erestor shook his head and tore the paper off his present. It was a large book about the history of Middle-Earth.

"Like it?" Elladan asked hopefully.

Erestor loved it. "Thanks!" he said happily and hugged Elladan.

"Now open mine!" Elrohir grinned, holding out another gift.

Erestor took the oddly-shaped present and lifted an eyebrow skeptically.

"Don't worry," Elrohir said. "You'll like it."

"Glorfindel certainly likes what we got him," Elladan said, pointing at the gleeful-looking Vanya. Glorfindel was blissfully staring at the new stereo system. Then, he hugged one of the speakers, stood up on a chair, and jumped off, landing on the tree. With an ominous creak, the tree began to fall.

Unfortunately, at that moment, Elrond decided to enter the room, a glass of eggnog in his hand. And predictably, the tree fell smack into him.

Celebrian screamed and threw off her headphones, running to the tree. Glorfindel sheepishly stood up and said, "Sorry, Lord Elrond."

Arwen ran to Celebrian's side and grabbed her arm. "Is Ada dead?" she asked in a loud, theatrical whisper.

Elrond groaned.

"No, he's alive," Celebrian said, looking relieved.

"Oh, good!" Arwen squeaked happily. She then lifted her camera phone and snapped a picture of her fallen father.

Elrond somehow or other managed to get out from under the tree, and with Celebrian's help, righted it. Everyone finished opening their presents and soon the Hall of Fire was abandoned. Elrohir had gotten Erestor a coffee maker. It had been taken out of the box, explaining the awkward shape.

"For those late nights of paperwork," Elrohir had grinned.

That afternoon, Erestor headed outdoors. He could no longer resist the temptation of the delicious smells streaming from the kitchen, and his hands still smarted from the whacking he'd received after trying to sample a pie. He saw Glorfindel standing with the twins, busily working on a snowman. Erestor decided that now was the time to take his revenge.

He headed over to the trio. Glorfindel was humming "Elrond Got Run Over By a Reindeer" joyously. Around his neck was the scarf Erestor had bought him, printed with multi-colored candy canes. Erestor wore the reindeer gloves that Glorfindel had gotten him. "Hello, all," he said, happily, his hands behind his back.

"Hey, 'Stor!" Glorfindel smiled, his booted toes tapping a pattern into the snow.

"I brought you something," Erestor said.

"Oh, really! You shouldn't have!"

"Of course I should have!" Erestor grinned evilly. Like a flash, two snowballs pelted Glorfindel in the face. The snow fell away, leaving the golden-haired Elf's eyebrows frosted as white as Gandalf's, a shocked expression on his face.

"Merry Christmas, Glorfindel!" Erestor laughed, taking off across the lawn.

And for the first time, he _liked _Christmas!

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! To all who celebrate Christmas, merry Christmas! And to those who don't, happy last-week-of-2004!! And now I'm off to Fiji on the back of my domesticated emu!! Farewell!! 


End file.
